God what are you asking for?
Did you forget?
The things I’ve been through?
The struggles I’ve met?
I cannot replay
The pains from my past
They are coming towards me
All at once, in a flash
As the jokesters mock
My intentions with glee
I come to you in prayer
To overcome me
And today, it feels
The devil’s pulling me down
Closer to the dirt
As my face hits the ground
I pray, then get up
My flesh is almost winning
Yesterday the devil frowned
Today he’s grinning
And I reach out to you
Not to be who I was
Yearning for Your voice
Sounds like a distant buzz
Buried in my mind
Asking what you want
My good intentions feel,
More like a haunt
Desires to please you
Are all in confusion
Today I feel yesterday,
Was a happy delusion
And all that’s left to do
Is plea for your help
I struggle to not think
You’ll put me on a shelf
Maybe I really need
A spiritual intervention
Because my heart is love
While my mind – contention
Which one do I listen to
My heart of calm and reason
Or calamity and pain
Protecting me this season
And deep inside I know
This is all for your purpose
My pain is your glory
This will all be worth it
Struggles in part
Of spiritual logistics
Organized complications
Effective precisions
Timely moments that
I don’t understand now
Is a part of your plan
To overcome my doubts
Struggles, I face alone
For harder battles ahead
To peel off my flesh
The walking dead
Be the living testimony
A tool to shape and mold
Metals not affected
By depths of hot or cold
Just changed in the Spirit
Reconstruction runs deep
Refinements are aligned
Reshaped by fire, not heat
All I can do is trust
Words that renew
To drown out my own breath
TO make them even more true
For now just keep writing
While my lines bleed
These very pains I face
Someone needs to read
To remind them of hope
And love found in Jesus
He’s not only a conqueror
Somehow He will see to this
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